If Dogs Could Talk


Dear God,    When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,    If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,    Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God,    If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God,    We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
                    whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields,
                    and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,    Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon
                     and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear God,    Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,    More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.